A letter To You From My Heart
by Hana Marie -chan
Summary: Mikan is writing a love letter to her one and only. This time, she is going to write from her heart, saying only the truth Lies are over, and some secrets from the past which she had hidden well inside her heart must be said before it's too late. Wanna find out who the addressee is? Read and find out.
1. Summary

"A Letter To You From My Heart."

 **Full Summary**

 **Mikan is writing a love letter to her one and only. This time, she is going to write from her heart, saying only the truth. Lies are over, and some secrets from the past which she had hidden well inside her heart must be said before it's too late. Wanna find out who the addressee is? Read and find out. (Divided in 4 parts)**


	2. Part 1 How we started

**Hello sunshines! How are you?Hhmm …have you noticed how you smile on your own while you read something funny? Or cry when you read something sad? How the time passes so fast without noticing and how you can actually "live" while reading a story? I want to make people smile when they read my stories, to share my stories with you. I know I am still not good with my vocabulary and grammar, and sometimes I cannot phrase correctly what is on my mind, but still I want to share my imagination and travel with you through my stories. So please bear with me and help me too!**

 **Please send me your message with your comments, your suggestion and don't hesitate to say hello! I would love to talk with you! Also, I need to say that unfortunately I don't own any of Gakuen Alice's characters, name or G.A. itself ( T_T )**

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 **Summary:**

Mikan is writing a love letter to her one and only. This time, she is going to write from her heart, saying only the truth. Lies are over, and some secrets from the past which she had hidden well inside her heart must be said before it's too late. Wanna find out who the addressee is? Read and find out. (Divided in 4 parts)

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 **Game** : **In the end of this chapter, I have some questions which you are more than welcome to participate and state your own opinion; in the following questions giving your own side of story/reasons of the chapter.**

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"A letter To You From My Heart"

Part 1

What's up, babe? Any news today?

Here, you see? I got stuck saying this ridiculous phrase as well. Do you remember how much I got mad every time you teased me with this? I really wanted to hit you every time you said, "What's up, babe" while smirking at me, you know. Still, I could not stay mad at you for a long time, even with your cranky attitude, you make me laugh…always…I still wonder how I fell so much in love with you, with that sadistic, that narcissistic, that selfish…that…that cranky attitude of yours.

I had felt that your existence was a bad sign for me. Inside my heart, I had this feeling that you would be trouble, and it was proven correctly.

In the end, you wrote your name in my heart with un-erasable ink. I swear, I tried so hard to forget you. Are you sad right now from reading this? Mad? Or do you find it funny? Really, I cannot guess what you're thinking right now, because I used some harsh words, but I don't care, after all(,) you deserved it after what you have done.

We've known each other for so many years already, yet I still cannot understand what you are thinking; always hiding your emotions by using that cranky attitude of yours. How many times have I told you in the past? With me, you can always be yourself. My love…my darling.

Do you remember the first time I met you? We were so young, in second grade. So innocent, so relaxed; no care in the world. You know, I really can't remember much, only some vague images in my memory; you getting attention from the teacher because you never listened, and me getting scolded cause I didn't do my homework. Now, as I am writing this letter to you, more memories appear in my mind. We talked a lot because we sat together in French class, right? How could I forget it? Were we 10 at that time? or maybe older? I don't remember well; I just have this thought that we did talk. Oh, maybe earlier in our French lessons in school. Did you have a crush on me back then? Because thinking about it now, I could see your gentle side. Do you remember the crazy teacher who (I really don't remember the reason) threw my pencil case at the wall? I was so frightened from her behavior that, after class, I couldn't move and take it back. But you went and brought it back to me, saying no words before leaving. I never thanked you for that. For some reason, I was embarrassed to talk about this like it was my fault for the teachers' behavior. We never talked about it until we briefly discussed it when we turned 14, or was it sooner? 12…that was the age when the most tragic events happened in my life; my father's death was the biggest scar, which still might be unhealed.

Also, at that time, many other changes happened; from the kid I was, I started to become a teenage girl. I grew, you grew, still finding out about ourselves. You were always surprised when you realized that I had a weak memory…but you never noticed…I was having depression at that time…I was never myself…But you were there for me most of the time. With you there, I never felt lonely. With your smile, you always made me smile. With your constant teasing, you helped me forget my problems and live the world of what a teenage girl should live. With you, I learned the first steps of flirting, your meaningful smile. Your words and gestures made me blush, made me laugh and made me feel special. Oh, now that I realized…you perverted idiot! Do you know how embarrassed I was when you tried to hug or touch me in front of our mothers? My heart couldn't take it, pervert! Remember? You always called me a baka; baka this, baka that.

The funny thing is that you pretended that you meant it as an insult and I pretended that I got mad from that, but it was just a funny game. I knew you never meant it. It was our silly game. What I never knew was that after what happened, you would have acted that way…Did you ever realize? At that time, my mind and heart where not in the same place …I was not well, it was like I didn't have a soul. I didn't know what was wrong and what was right. Living my life as a lifeless doll. I guess that it was because you never asked me out; I was not happy about myself. I was not happy and the last thing that I had in mind was love, but I liked you. Do you understand what I mean? Also, what the heck was that confession? I was mad! "I love you, please go out with me." Dude, love is a strong word with a strong meaning. You shouldn't use it if you didn't mean it. Furthermore, a confession through a message! The truth is that I felt scared of love; I don't know how to explain it and why I said, "No, I don't believe you. It's a joke." I really don't know why I pretended not to believe that when inside my heart,I guessed that it was true.

I knew that from then, our relationship, our friendship, will change. But what I didn't know was that a week later, you found a girl with a name close to mine. I lost all trust in you; I was hurt and we never talked for the next three years. That was your love for me? That's what our friendship was meant to you? You once said to me, "Whenever you need me, I will come for you." You proved that it was just words. It was easy not to meet again and talk because we lived far from each other. However, it was hard because your existence had already been carved in my heart and my mind.

I tried to erase you, I tried to hate you and I tried to move on. Every time I tried to date someone, you were there in my mind. I made a comparison with "the other guy" when the other guy should have been you. You seemed to have done your job well because you had carved your existence so deep inside my heart, I couldn't take you out. In the first year, you were constantly there, as a phantom of my memories. The second time you were there less, and the third time, I had decided that you where no longer needed. However with your selfish attitude you decided to make my world upside down again.

~End of chapter~

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Hello sunshines, Merry Christmas and Happy NewYear!

Thank you for reading my story!

If you like it, please like and review!

I would love to hear your opinion. ^_^)/

You are more than welcome to participate and state your own opinion in the following questions, giving your own side of story/reasons of the chapter

Until next time; lots of xo's,

Marie

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Question 1:

Who do you think Mikan is writing this letter for?

Question 2:

When Mikan and "that person" were teens, do you believe that they felt love towards each other or just friendship?

Question 3:

Was it normal for "that guy" not to understand Mikan's depression?

Question 4:

Why did "that person" say, "I love you" to Mikan? And why through a message on her phone? Do you think that if he had said it another way, that things would be different?

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 **Special Thanks:**

To my wonderful friend and Beta partner ~Wendy402~ 3 Be sure to check out her stories.


	3. Part 2 First Kiss

Summary:

Mikan is writing a love letter to her one and only. This time, she is going to write from her heart, saying only truth. The lies are over and some secrets from the past which she had hidden well inside her heart must be said before it's too late. Wanna find out who this addressee is?Read and find out. Divided into 4 parts.

 **Game:**

In the end of each chapter, I have written questions, which it would be lovely if you could state your opinion to the story! Participate! :3

"A Letter to You From My Heart"

(Part 2)

You decided to show yourself with no explanation, when your mom visited one summer, when we were sixteen. Pretending like you were cool, like what happened in the past was already forgotten or never happened. So I decided to give you a taste of your own medicine. You see, I've grown up now and since you wanted to play a game, I will make you play it. But this time, with my own rules. You would move under my command. You know, the time you disappeared, I had changed. I was not the person you once knew; the happy, kind girl was already dead.

I remember when I walked down the stairs of the first floor, my heart was beating really fast but I disguised myself well. I was surprised how well I could actually do it. Showing independence, strength, social skills and a vibe of "cool" with you being here, a "liar" like you.

I greeted you with a fake smile and a kiss on the cheek as a close friend. Even though you kept a cool face in that mask of yours, I found a crack. I could see you were shocked from my behavior because you never looked me in the eyes or even face when you talked to me. Your sight was limited from the floor to maybe a person's foot. Dude, really? What was that? And…did I guess right? Was it embarrassment? Shock? Or maybe I was too ugly for you and didn't want yo look at me? What else?

I really don't know why you behaved that way. I was laughing inside. I made you embarrassed, I made you lose it. The next day, you wanted to go on a day trip but you asked your mother to call and the following day, me and my mother visited your house.

Again, the same attitude of yours; never looking at me and your view was only on the floor. If you hated me, you would never ask to meet me again. You heard that I liked music, that I sing and you dared to "ask" to listen to my recordings on my mp3. That's when I brushed you off with a cold attitude, looking at you like you were a piece trash. Your eyes showed that you were shocked that a girl like me could look at someone like that. You pretended that you didn't noticed and dared to take my hand, stealing the mp3. I tried to resist, shaking my hand from your grasp and for a moment I was shocked of your strength, I couldn't break it like before. With the coldest voice that I had, not yelling, but speaking normally, maybe with a lower voice, making a fake smile, I looked at you in the eyes saying, "You…Don't touch me." It was funny seeing you stepping back, freeing my hand. You know, people named me the "Ice Queen" for a reason. That was a moment when I really felt happy. After that day, we didn't see each other for a year and a half. We both had graduated from the high school and we already went on our first spring, where there was an event for elementary school graduates; our middle school friends were there and there was going to be a party.

At that time I had become really good friends with a senior of mine named Tsubasa Andou, in college, who, by chance, had graduated from the same school that we once went and left. Tsubasa and I decided to go together and to tell you the truth, I had a crush on him. In a woman's eyes, he was good looking; black hair, nice smile and…he was a great singer, had a funny personality and gentle. I had dressed with care and tried to seem mature, sexy but sophisticated. No girl could resist his charms.

We went together and I could see people looking at us. It was so embarrassing! A lot of people said to us that we looked great together and he smiled. He was a gentleman. At some point, he went to take our drinks and that's when you showed up, at the other end of the ballroom, looking at me with those eyes that always magnetized me. I looked at you. I felt unprepared, because I was sure that you wouldn't like to come, you never liked these kind of social events. I quickly got myself together and looked at you. I studied your figure, your vibe; you had changed, you grew up. You were not a teenage boy anymore, you were a man.

You met my eyes and smirked. I nodded. We never got close to greeting each other, just a silent acknowledge of each other's presence.

Tsubasa came with our drinks and that was it. However, this stupid heart of mine was shaken. Tsubasa must have understood that something was off and asked me if I was ok. I replied that I was fine, faking a smile. Some of his friends from middle school came and he introduced me. My middle school friends found me as well and we chatted happily. I tried to seem cheerful.

The dance started and Tsubasa took me to dance, which was fun, I must say, and I enjoyed it. Are you jealous reading this? You deserve it after what you had done. Later, Tsubasa and I parted for a while because of my friends and his friends who separated us to chat again, while we gave to each other a sympathetic look. I haven't seen my friends for a while and we had to catch up.

Later, that's when you crushed me again, remember? When I went outside in the hall to check my messages. The hall was quiet and it was the only place I could hear clearly. That's when I saw you on the stairs, making out with a blond girl. I froze and I felt a pain bursting inside my heart. Once more, my heart had been broken into pieces. Unfortunately, you heard the voice of my heels and opened your eyes. You looked at me while you continued to make out. I turned and left. I felt really irritated with your attitude but I was more I was irritated at myself for feeling frustrated with you kissing that girl. I had decided to forget you long ago.I walked towards the ladies room to get a hold of myself. I washed my hands and retouched my make up. I looked at my reflection, I had put on a mask once again and had calmed down. After that, I went to Tsubasa as the rest of the night passed.

As we were getting ready to leave, Tsubasa went to get our coats. It was a huge line and he suggested to go alone since those heels were killing me. I visited the bathroom once again, but as I walked out, I saw you standing outside. Jerk. I now wonder, why were you standing there? I saw you looking at me, but I decided to ignore you by passing by. But as I took one step further than you, I heard that voice of yours saying, "You really are a pervert, staying there when you see someone making out."

"How dare you! I went to check my messages! That's a public place. If you want to make out, you should go somewhere private!" I said, already feeling irritated of your existence.

You know…you should not add oil to the fire? Still, you mocked me, saying, "It was private until you came."

I was at my limit already, so I said, feeling completely pissed, "It's not like you own the place to begin with!" I was so fed up with your attitude, I wanted to hurt you, so I added, "Also, stop being familiar with me, like we are buddies because we are nothing. Don't get close to me." I said in that cold voice of mine, avoiding your eyes and started walking away. You dared to touch my arm, stopping me and I tried to shake it off. "Don't touch me."

"What's wrong with you?"

I looked back, completely pissed off with your attitude.

"Nothing is wrong, I just don't like people who are rude and all over themselves." I said.

"Don't try to pretend like we are strangers, because you know very well that we aren't," you answered and that's when I lost it.

I remember shaking my hand with force. "No, we are strangers! I grew up, I'm not the same person anymore and you don't know a thing about me, so don't act like you're close! Stay away from me and do your business."

You looked at me, confused, and you seemed a little mad, but I didn't care.

"You…don't tell me you are jealous?" You said.

"What?" I was in shocked when you said that.

"What I do is none of your business, little girl. Go look at your boyfriend who, from what I see, has more fun with his friends." You said smirking.

"What the hell! Firstly, as if I care about you. Secondly, what I do with him or not, that's none of your business as well! Who the hell do you think you are?" I yelled being furious of your rudeness.

I saw a sparkle in your eyes and I understood that you were mad but you had already pushed my limit of patience. "Who the hell do you think you are and why the hell you are talking to me in the first place? I really had enough of your attitude and enough of you in general. You really get on my nerves, acting like the jerk that you are. All these years, I was glad that you didn't talk to me…let's keep it that way and walk away, saying nothing like you always did in the past. I know that you are great at this." I said sarcastically but before I could walk again, you pinned me on the wall. Jerk, that hurt you know!

I was shocked with your actions, I was shaking but made a fist with my hands and managed to yell at you, "What the hell...let me go!"

I remember you not saying anything, just looking at me.

I still remember those eyes of yours, those eyes that were flaming with anger yet questioning eyes which I could not figure out what they meant.

"You really piss me off, you know…like you know it all." You said whispering but before I could answer, I felt your lips on mine, kissing me hard with a passion that frightened me. I remember well, my actions in that moment. At first, I must tell you, I was shocked, not believing what you just did. Secondly, I sensed your kiss and felt my heart beating uncontrollably, ready to come out of my chest. Thirdly, the realization of what is happening and me who got a grip. I tried to free myself by pushing you with my hands but you had pinned me there, holding me with your body and I couldn't break free. I got frightened by you, a millions thoughts in these five seconds passed through my head, like "he is kissing me," "no, don't let him," "he will break your heart," "he does not deserve you," etc. But after those five seconds, I gave into this kiss again, our first kiss. No words where said in our passionate make out in those minutes, but then my mind took over once again, thinking rationally, "This guy should not be trusted if he is playing around again" and I broke our kiss.

I remember both of us breathing heavily for air. You broke my restraints and moved a little further. I stood there, saying no words. I looked at you and I saw you already looking at me, smirking. My heart crushed. I thought that you played with me again and that's why I slapped you, saying, "You are the worst. Jerk!" I remember leaving you like that as I went to Tsubasa, shaking from frustration, sadness, betrayal. Tsubasa understood that something happened and took me out of there.

I thought that this will be the last time I will see you. I tried to cure my broken heart over again but you fooled me once more. I really never expected to see you in this place and in that kind of situation, once again.

~End Of Chapter~

Hello sunshines, Happy NewYear!

Thank you for reading my story!

If you like it please like and review!

I would love to hear your opinion. :)

You are more than welcome to participate and state your own opinion in the following questions, giving your own side of story/reasons of the chapter.

Until next time, lots of xo's,

Marie

 **Game:**

Question 1:

Who do you think Mikan is writing this letter for?

Question 2:

At one point, Mikan wrote that when she and that person meet up, he never looked at her in the eyes or even face when he talked to her. His sight was limited from the floor to maybe a person's foot. She ended up wondering why he did that. What was his reasoning?

Question 3:

Why did "that person" showed up in the elementary reunion?

Question 4:

Why did "that person" kissed Mikan? What was his purpose?

 **Special Thanks:**

To my wonderful friend and Beta partner's ~Wendy402~and ~Chewybillabong~ who helped me with the correction of the chapter! 3 Be sure to check out their stories.

 **Everyone thank you for the reviews!**

 **My answer to these two sweet reviewers:**

Lexi1989 and Anilissa

Lexi-Chan & Anilissa-chan, konnichiwa!

I am writing this for the both of you since you have been talking about the same thing;)

I agree with you;both Mikan and "that guy" were too young to understand and share real feelings of is love anyway at this age? What they felt can be described as puppy love, the feeling of "oh I like someone cause he is cute and treats me nice" or even a more simple reason; just because they had spend some time together. Maybe, this is it … well in Mikan's case we can never could have felt love but at that time she could not understand or even feel anything because of her father's sudden death. (Anilissa I was talking about her father's death btw) Now that I mention it; As far for "this guy's" understanding…well he screwed up big time…I start to believe that he never cared for Mikan and thats why he didn't pay attention to her feelings.I mean even as a friend we could have understand Mikan's he chose to disappear for years! I cannot understand his thinking!

Lastly, If he had found the guts and told her in person maybe the story would have changed ;)

Anyways thank you very much for your review! I really appreciate it!

xoxo,

Marie Hana

Ps: Maybe he is Natsume , maybe he isn't . We have crossed out Tsubasa on second chapter. We have still another 7 (?) guys to go….or maybe Its a girl! What If its Hotaru?HAHAHA :3


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